Sunday, April 14, 2024

Tech N9ne - The Worst


After the release of The Calm Before the Storm: Part 1, Aaron Dontez Yates set about trying to start his own record label, apparently tired of appeasing to the major labels of the day that had failed him so often. While he was off doing this, his current underground labels Mizery Entertainment and MidWestSide Records took various tracks that Tech had left behind on the cutting room floor, and decided to put together a release entitled The Worst. The Worst was one of many album titles that Tech had teased to us during the 1990s, but the original album, like so many others, was never given the green light by whatever label Tech had been on, and so the heads at Mizery decided that it was their duty to give Tech's three fans that he had at the time a taste of what that album had sounded like (or something like that).

The Worst was released at some point in 2000, I believe, although it's entirely possible that this isn't the case, and despite the fact that Tech most probably had nothing to do with its sequencing, promotion and release, it was released to listeners as his second official studio album, and still holds that title to this day. Like the last album, this one was largely produced by Don Juan, and contained many features from other underground Kansas City artists that were in similar positions to Tech, finding difficulty getting any hype around them due to their city of origin. The only "hit" Tech had had so far was the track "Let's Get Fucked Up" with 57th Street Rogue Dog Villains, a track that most probably received only one play outside the state of Missouri anyway, and despite his songs appearing on the soundtracks to major hip-hop films such as Gang Related and Thicker Than Water, as well as him getting a short verse on Sway & King Tech's classic posse cut "The Anthem", he still had little to no listeners on the West and East coasts. That would of course change in due time, but before we get to that, we have to talk about this.

The Worst is actually considered to be one of Tech's worst (get it?) solo albums by his core fanbase, a shame, since I really bloody like this album cover (it's just creepy), but since those people aren't necessarily the greatest fans of regular hip-hop (or just hip-hop not related to Strange Music) anyway, maybe I, a massive hip-hop head, will like this album a bit more than most of the Technicians. 

Or maybe I won't.

I'll just list the features that I think are important to the song, as I believe every feature is listed as "additional vocals" on the original pressing of the album (which I don't have - it's bloody expensive). All songs are produced by Don Juan, except where noted.

1. Stamina

Starting this album off with this classic was certainly a good idea. Tech raps for about 20 seconds over the sound of machine gun fire, and the results are surprisingly exciting. He certainly lives up to his name, that's for sure. "I'll be in the line, hella doin' time for the *click, click* - TECH, N9NEEE!!"

2. Trauma (feat. Hannibal "Bear" Lector & Rock Money)

You know what this is? The absolute epitome of horrorcore rap music, that's what. From the incredibly dark and bassy beat, to the murderous lyrics, to the manic chorus. Hannibal Lector (a silly rap name, really) and Rock Money both provide decent verses, but it's Tech who steals this one, with easily one of the best verses he had spit up to this point in his career closing the track off. The transition from Stamina into this song was also perfect, and sequenced excellently. What a bass drop! This is honestly one of my favourite Tech songs of all time.

3. Planet Rock 2K (Original Version) (prod. Don Juan & Polar Bear)

Despite what the title may lead you to believe, this isn't actually the original version, as that would be the one that appeared on 1999's Thicker Than Water soundtrack. This is in fact the third version to be released (after the "Down South Mix" version appeared on his debut). Personally, I also think this is the best of the three. The beat, provided by Don Juan and Polar Bear, is nice as hell, with some bangin' synths and piano keys, and Tech's vocals do mesh well with this beat (if slightly less well than they do on the other versions of the song). The hook is also pretty fun, but the Afrika Bambaataa-interpolating bridge that appears twice is bloody horrific. Still, this is a pretty dope track.

4. Thugged-Out (feat. The Regime)

For those who don't know, The Regime were a hip-hop group consisting of about a million members (not all of whom appear on here, thank God) that Tech happened to be affiliated with back in the day. The only member that people who aren't interested in the early 2000s KC rap scene (read: everyone ever) would know would be Yukmouth, who was in the group Luniz (known for their hit "I Got 5 On It"), and who also happened to be a close friend of Tech's (he even made significant appearances in the 2004 documentary T9X: The Tech N9ne Experience). Everyone else remains unknown, and that's probably a good thing, as this is terrible. Everyone seems to be desperate to come across as the most aggressive member, making this one of the most grating and annoying posse cuts ever made (the beat doesn't help either). The best part of this is the end, where Tech screams "Regime killas, nigga!!!", and then it abruptly cuts off. That was hilarious.

5. Walk These Shoes

Starts off promising, with a hard West Coast style beat (something that's becoming a running theme on this album), and some fairly nice rhymes from Tech, but then falls off a fucking canyon when the godawful hook chimes in. It's utter drivel, but as long as you look past it, then this song isn't too bad. Should have been better, though (and hooks are to become an increasing problem as we move through Tech's catalogue, so be wary of that).

6. They're Gonna Laugh At You

The first of three songs that was removed from the re-press of the album, which is also the one that I own on CD. It's OK, though, because I actually streamed this album first, so I have heard this song, which is a good thing, as it's pretty bloody great. The beat is hard as hell, with the bass hitting your ears with a tremor and a kick for good measure, and Tech delivers once again (finding a bad verse in Tech's early, not-so-strange music is a difficult task, it must be said). The sample from the film Carrie (you can probably guess which part from the song title) is pretty annoying, but it isn't too intrusive, and doesn't hurt the song. The back-masking at the beginning of the third verse was pretty fun too. Dope track.

7. Niggas

I literally don't believe that Tech actually made a song with that title. That is hilarious. And a lot more hilarious than the song, which is pretty bloody dull if I'm honest (so dull that I even forgot it existed - I just went straight to writing "Why? Tech N9ne" after I had finished up writing about the previous track, before I realised something was missing). Those synths are absolutely hateful, too.

8. Why? Tech N9ne

A short 50 second verse that is easily one of the nicest moments on the album. Tech N9ne is one of the dopest MCs of all time, that's for sure. "Fuck a nigga, buck a nigga, if he wanna get a piece of a native Amerikilla for realer, Gorilla like me!!" is one of the hardest bars he ever spit (he later re-used it on the song "Be Warned", although it could have been vice versa - I don't think anyone knows when exactly Tech's early music was recorded). 

9. Mad Confusion (feat. Hannibal "Bear" Lector)

Looks like Hannibal Lector is back! And for a rather good verse - it's a shame that guy went awol shortly after this album was released. When I first listened to this track, I remember being pissed off that there were more high-pitched synths making up the beat, but after a while I realised that they sounded a hell of a lot better than the synths used on "Niggas" earlier. The synths here are creepy as hell. And of course Tech kills his verse too, despite the weird-ass Leprechaun line at the end. The G-Funk synths that come in at the end were pretty damn cool as well. Nice track.

10. One Night Stand (prod. Freshstrated & Don Juan)

Funnily enough, I used to actually like this track, as I thought Tech's storytelling was pretty interesting, but now listening to it I'm just a bit bored. The verses are still solid, but the beat and hook can't keep up with them at all, and this sounds way too radio-friendly for Tech if we're being honest. Not the best, and way too long as well.

11. Get Blowed

Despite there being long-ass skits at the start and the end of this muthafucka, this track is still hard as hell. The hook that rips some lyrics from "Planet Rock 2K" (all of the versions) is a bit dull, but the spacey beat and the excellent verses certainly make up for it. This is a banger.

12. I Didn't Lie (feat. LaMani)

Fucking terrible. LaMani spends the whole damned track moaning on and on nonsensically, and Tech doesn't even get to shine until three minutes in, when he decides spit a weak-ass verse too. I cannot stand this fucking song.

13. Mind Of A Killer

A short interlude that features clips from various documentaries about serial killers and such. Pretty intriguing... for a skit.

14. The Worst (feat. Paul Law)

Remember that guy who delivered one of the worst hooks of the last album on "Spend The Night"? Well, he's back, and thankfully doesn't sound too bad on this title track, even if his hook is way too soft for a song that's supposedly about being "the worst" human being on Earth. The beat once again clearly takes a lot of inspiration from G-Funk, and it actually does sound pretty good, and I have to admit that Tech's verses are incredibly impressive. This isn't one of my favourites on the album, but it's a hell of a lot better than the songs surrounding it, that's for sure.

15. S.I.M.O.N. Says (feat. Charmelle Cofield)

God, I hate this song. The concept is corny as a cornfield (no, I can't be bothered to think of a more effective metaphor), and the chorus is terrible as it gets. One of the worst Tech N9ne songs ever made. Still better than "I Didn't Lie", though.

16. Fucked Up Day (Charmelle Cofield)

Despite this singer delivering one of the most dismal performances of the day on the previous track, Tech decided that the best thing to do was to give her shine for a full track (don't worry: Tech would get a lot better at choosing artists to sign in the future - imagine what his Collabos albums would sound like if he didn't!). This track is set up as a live performance at some kind of bar, and while it's sweet and all, you won't catch me bumping this one off my own accord.

17. Fucked Up Day (Tech N9ne & Paul Law)

For a precursor to this track, that last song was bloody long, that's for sure. This song is listed as being a collaboration with Paul Law, rather than featuring him, but I don't know why, as he does about as much here as he did on "The Worst". This last song is quite pleasant, sort of like a little bike ride in the sun, but it's a far cry from the hard bangers that featured in the first half of this album. For a closer, however, it wasn't bad, and Tech does give a sign of having sequenced this, as he modestly states that this is the "end of my LP, also end of existence". Interesting.


About a year after the release of this album, and after Tech had finally gotten signed to a major (ish) label - JCOR - Mizery decided it was time to make more money off the now more popular Tech, and re-released this album as The Worst: 2K Edition, with a new album cover, tracklist and all, and that new order is listed below.

1. Stamina
2. Planet Rock 2K (Original Version)
3. Let's Get It Started
4. Thugged-Out
5. Mind Of A Killer
6. The Worst
7. Walk These Shoes
8. Trauma
9. Young Hooligans
10. Strange
11. Get Blowed
12. Niggas
13. One Night Stand
14. I Didn't Lie
15. S.I.M.O.N. Says
16. Fucked Up Day (Charmelle)
17. Fucked Up Day (Tech N9ne & Paul Law)

Well, at least they had the decency to cram all of the filler tracks into the last section on this release, even if they also got rid of three of the best songs on the original ("They're Gonna Laugh At You", "Why? Tech N9ne" and "Mad Confusion"). You may notice that there are three songs listed there that didn't appear on the original tracklist, and you'd be right. But are they worth tracking down (this release does not appear on streaming)? Let's find out.

- Let's Get It Started (feat. D-Loc, Dalima & Kev) (prod. Dalima)

Some may recognise those first two names as appearing on a few of Tech's later songs, including the big hits "Midwest Choppers", "My World" and "Worldwide Choppers". Back then, they were going by the rather silly name of "Da Hooligans", and this song certainly brings that energy - it sounds exactly like a bunch of hooligans messing around over a dope beat. This is just the epitome of fun. Good stuff.

- Young Hooligans (feat. D-Loc, Dalima & D.C.) (prod. Dalima)

Tech was really trying to promote Da Hooligans back then, wasn't he? Interestingly, I believe both of these songs also appeared on their self-titled album, released through MidWestSide in 1999 (an album heavily advertised in the artwork for this CD). This track is more aggressive than the last one, and works better as a song, as well. Pretty nice stuff all in all.

- Strange (prod. QDIII)

Probably the most well-known out of the three songs, most likely due to it being the first instance where Tech really started to acknowledge his stance as one of the most unique (or "strange") rappers in the industry. Interestingly enough, this is one of the most radio-friendly songs of his early career, but it's still pretty good. The chorus is catchy as hell too. Remember, not every radio single is terrible! Just the majority of them!

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Talk about top-heavy. The Worst starts off with an opening to rival some of the best rap albums in history, and even when the run ended at the aggravating "Thugged-Out", the album was still consistently pretty good, and sounding better than his debut. Around the halfway point, however, this album fell off a fucking cliff, resulting in some of the most miserable songs I have ever had the misfortune of listening to in my journey through the hip-hop universe. This album should definitely have ended at "Get Blowed", or, better yet, they should have done the re-release tracklist, cut off the tracks from "Niggas" onwards, and then added in the three tracks (wrongly) removed for the re-release, ending it with "Why? Tech N9ne". Does anyone else agree with me there? Anyway, this is still pretty solid for what is effectively a compilation of underground music, with there being some legitimately legendary Tech songs in there, and the project sounding pretty cohesive, and having a consistent sound. Still, I wouldn't recommend a full listen, as this album is kind of boring as hell to get through. If you like dark, aggressive hip-hop, though, then you absolutely HAVE to listen to "Trauma". It's bloody incredible. This album is alright, then, but Tech has a hell of a lot more music to come that is more well-thought out and creative than this, and we'll get to that soon enough, so, let's just leave this one in the underground where it so rightfully belongs.

Best Tracks: Stamina, Trauma, Planet Rock 2K (Original Version), They're Gonna Laugh At You, Why? Tech N9ne, Get Blowed, Young Hooligans (re-release only)

Worst Tracks: Thugged-Out, Niggas, I Didn't Lie, S.I.M.O.N. Says

You may also enjoy:

Tech N9ne - The Calm Before the Storm: Part 1

Image for The Worst: 2K Edition cover taken from Discogs




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